The illusion of being put together, or, why I eat out

I think eating out may be the only true way to achieve, briefly, that glowy contented feeling of having your life completely together. Maybe this is not true for everyone, but when I am sitting at a table, beer (or wine, or cocktail) in hand, looking at a perfectly designed restautrant that just feels like a place where successful young professionals and hip young families come together to eat, I feel like I'm in some sort of magazine about good living. I get to pretend for a minute that I have the money and the lifestyle (and the metabolsim) of someone who does this all the time. I find myself saying "Brady, we are so lucky to be successful and happy and stylish. We should be these people all the time. This should be our life." I start to imagine that when I get home my furniture will be from Crate and Barrel. That my walls will be adorned with art. That I will be a person with trendy rugs and edgy wall colors and a vintage gas stove. That my closet will be filled with clothes I like and that in the mornings I will find time to spin (despite the fact that I have never been to a spin class).

I'm not sure if what I want most of all is to figure out how to feel that way all the time, or whether I'd be happier knowing that NO ONE feels that way all the time (which I'm beginning to think/hope is the truth). I think maybe we should take those moments and grab them and stay in them as long as we can because eventually you will have to go home to your messy room (or your own personal equivalent) and face the fact that there is nothing glamorous about folding laundry. Maybe pretending that life can be perfect and glowy everyday is dangerous to your own self esteem (and the self esteem of others... I'm looking at you, self help books, insprirational living gurus and crazy inspirational blogs written by seemingly perfect people).

Maybe if life was always perfect and glowy (and looked like a crate and barrel catalog) then those very special moments in very special restaurants with very special unique wonderful funny people would be mundane. And that would actually be so much worse.