Introspective blabber

Do you ever have days where you completely question everything about your life? Days where you wonder what it is you've been waiting for? Days where you realize that your whole life is about waiting for things to be the way you want them? Do you ever think, on days like those, that maybe life is too short to be waiting around for things to fall into place? Maybe things never will fall into place the way you think they will. Maybe you are waiting for people to catch up to you, and they never will.

On these kinds of days does it break your heart to think that it might be the people and the circumstances of your life that are making you sad. Maybe it's the people and things you love the most that are keeping you from achieving your dreams?

Not that I'm feeling that way or anything. I just wanted to know if you had ever felt that way. You know, out of curiosity. Informal poll kind of thing......

On July 20, 2006, I wrote in my journal:
Does anything really change? Do we always remain the same? Will I spend my whole life feeling like I am finally on the brink of something, never really discovering what it is that I am on the brink of? I feel like change, self recognition, something, is just around the corner, just out of my reach.

It terrifies me to know that I still feel exactly the same way.

I'm sorry for the introspective post tonight. I just feel like I was going somewhere and I could see it, clearly in front of me. I had a map. And then someone told me I had the map upside down and took it away from me. So now I'm forced to face the fact that my path has been wrong from the start and I don't even have a map to lean on.

How long can we wait for others to see the same map we do? How long before you admit that they've been using a different map the whole time, hoping that you'll notice and switch to their path? When do we accept that people can only see their own map, and that it's wrong to try and change their view, even if we think our destination is better?

I think I'll put this overused map metaphor to bed now and get some sleep. I know things will be brighter tomorrow. And hopefully my post will be too.