Ranch Dressing and anxiety

I lost two pounds this week! Also I got hit on on the BART train today. I'm positive that the two were related. Obviously I am much more beautiful now that I am two pounds thinner. (Except that I'm not two pounds thinner anymore because I went out to dinner with my friend Rowyn and gained them all back...in french fries).

But in honor of weigh in day, a recommendation for you all.... Follow Your Heart Low Fat Ranch Dressing!

I have to confess that this is actually my favorite ranch dressing. Like out of all ranch dressings. Even Brady agrees. It's just yummy. It just also happens to be 1 weight watchers point. For 4 tablespoons. You can buy it here. Or at your local Lucky store. (Follow Your Heart...if you want to pay me for the advertising...I'm ready to accept your money, although I will love your product even if I never get paid to talk about it.)

Sometimes when I discover amazing foods like this one, I wonder, why are there so many fattening foods out there? We have the power to make things that taste like this...rich, creamy, yummy...without all the fat and the calories and yet... I mean when you actually go to the store and look at nutrition information it totally makes sense that there are so many people struggling with obesity. Not that I'm trying to get on any soapbox about obesity. It's just, why not make foods that are low fat and delicious? Foods that don't make you feel like you are dieting even though you are. I get that butter needs fat to taste good. I understand that cheese just tastes funny the lower fat it is. But surely, there are also some foods that could be better for you with minimal effort. Right? Although, don't get me started on low fat cheese. That stuff doesn't taste right.

Anyway. I also restarted my gym membership yesterday with the intention of going to the gym today. I didn't. I am suddenly afraid that once again I have succumbed to the beautiful image of how great it will be when I go to the gym without any real hope of making it to said gym. Soon mounting gym costs will make me feel increasingly more guilty as I make more excuses for why I don't have time to go to the gym all the while knowing that the real reason I can't go is just that I've built it up in my head so much that I am paralyzed with fear of actually going to the gym. And by the time I get there, I have unrealistic expectations for what I should be doing there and so I will always feel like I should be getting more out of my membership. And ultimately I will decide the gym is too old/ugly/dirty/crowded/full of fit people and convince myself that that's why I never go as if the gym is the problem rather than myself. Ugh, so basically I joined the gym to help lower my stress but have ended up adding to my stress levels exponentially.

Now I'm tired from thinking about food and all the pressures of not working out. Ugh performance review tomorrow at work on top of everything else.