It's been a rough week

I've been having a hard time of it lately.  "It" meaning "life."

Some very blogworthy things have been happening I guess.  I mean if I were sort of emo and angsty and wanted to talk about my feelings a lot.  Which, you know, I sort of try not to do.

I know, I know, I talk a lot.  Every person I have ever met and talked to has commented on how much I talk.  My family, my friends, my enemies.  They all like to make jokes about how much I talk.  Which is fine mostly.  But just because I talk a lot, and just because I do share a lot about myself, doesn't mean that I let everyone in on everything.  I may say "Yeah, I had a bad day" to someone I just met, but I won't say "I'm currently facing the crippling realities of my life and I'm finding myself lacking in pretty much every way possible."  I mean, I tend to try to downplay my unhappiness when I'm talking to other people.  I'm more of a "lets talk about fun things" kind of person.

But anyway, I am sort of facing the crippling realities of my life and finding myself lacking.

And it doesn't make me want to blog so much.  Because I would rather share funny stories or weight loss failures or pretty much anything else.

So I'm sorry I haven't been blogging.  It's been a tough couple of years and those tough years are catching up with me.  I mean actually literally catching up with me as in I am now having to visit the doctor every other week to deal with stress related illnesses.  So yeah.  I'm trying to think of the funny way to say that and...well, I'm coming up short.  Which is not to say that things aren't often funny (physical therapy orientation... actually sort of an amazingly hilarious experience.  Picture me and five 50 year old women doing yoga stretches on a floor talking about our pelvic alignment.)

I've been feeling very alone and very grown up and very dissatisfied and it's hard to find people who are willing to listen to you talk about why you are feeling down.  I don't know if I know anyone who's up for that kind of listening.  Because on top of everything else a lot of the things I counted on for support have been collapsing lately.

I'm not depressed or even sad so much as overwhelmed and sort of uncomfortable about lots of things in my life.  And I'm going to try to work on that.  Slowly.  Step by step.  But, um, in the meantime, thanks internet for listening to me rant?

And now I'm thinking I've treaded into emo and angsty territory and I obviously just need to stop and go to sleep because sleep makes everything better.  Focus on that funny physical therapy image I conjured up earlier.  That was waaay less angsty.