Ugh, I am fat, possibly coming down with a cold and exhausted.
I also just spent the last 30 min entering online contests. And no, I won't tell you which ones, because I don't want you to enter too. That would lessen my chances of winning, and frankly I could use a windfall right now. Seriously. I never win anything anyway. Right now I'm feeling all hopeful and happy but nothing will come of it. I'll still be broke and fat and tired.
Speaking of being fat though, I am going to really buckle down on the weight watchers and the exercise starting tomorrow. (Yeah, I know. You've heard that before.) Really though. If I can't buckle down this week and really sustain this weight loss thing, it was just prove that I have no follow through and no self control.
Honestly, I'm feeling a little down right now. If you couldn't tell from that uplifting opening line. I just need to learn from my mistakes and see my small successes and move forward into a bright and happy future.
Ha. Yeah I'm just going to sleep. I'll be in Disneyland in 3 days and I bet things will feel lots better there. Goodnight for now.
Showing posts with label weight loss foibles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss foibles. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Routine...what's that?
I have successfully made it to the gym! Er, I mean, I went to the gym. It was...not as bad as I expected. But unfortunately walking into the gym did not magically make me thin/beautiful/fit/stress free/happy. Nor did it change the fact that I ate an ice cream sand which today and I probably shouldn't have.
Informal poll: Is it ok to go to the gym, feel really good and then come home and eat macaroni and cheese and hot dogs for dinner? Does it change things if the mac and cheese was Annie's instant mac and cheese (made with real cheese) and the hot dogs were 98% fat free turkey dogs? If I had a pudding cup for dessert, does that negate any good I may have done today?
If only life sorted itself out neatly for us. I feel like in elementary school it did. Actually even in middle school and high school my days were neatly ordered, laid out in front of me. Yeah waking up was bad. But I always knew what came next. Someone made my food for me (which is probably why I was skinny when I was little). They made time in the day for physical activity. The day always went in an orderly fashion. A nice routine.
No one tells you that when you get out of school you have to make your own routine. And that you will probably lack self discipline and find yourself in front of the TV eating mac and cheese and instead of it being great like you always dreamed, you will be stressing about how fat you are and your boyfriend will change the channel to watch the baseball game.
Anyway, on the plus side, my performance review went really well today and I am apparently a fabulous employee!! I got extra points for being personable and creative. Excellent!
Ugh, I'm going to be tired tomorrow. Stayed up too late watching British TV dramas and now will be late to work again. At least it's Friday!
Informal poll: Is it ok to go to the gym, feel really good and then come home and eat macaroni and cheese and hot dogs for dinner? Does it change things if the mac and cheese was Annie's instant mac and cheese (made with real cheese) and the hot dogs were 98% fat free turkey dogs? If I had a pudding cup for dessert, does that negate any good I may have done today?
If only life sorted itself out neatly for us. I feel like in elementary school it did. Actually even in middle school and high school my days were neatly ordered, laid out in front of me. Yeah waking up was bad. But I always knew what came next. Someone made my food for me (which is probably why I was skinny when I was little). They made time in the day for physical activity. The day always went in an orderly fashion. A nice routine.
No one tells you that when you get out of school you have to make your own routine. And that you will probably lack self discipline and find yourself in front of the TV eating mac and cheese and instead of it being great like you always dreamed, you will be stressing about how fat you are and your boyfriend will change the channel to watch the baseball game.
Anyway, on the plus side, my performance review went really well today and I am apparently a fabulous employee!! I got extra points for being personable and creative. Excellent!
Ugh, I'm going to be tired tomorrow. Stayed up too late watching British TV dramas and now will be late to work again. At least it's Friday!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Oh birthdays
Ok universe. It's not really so funny anymore.
My checking account has been compromised and my current balance is negative $900. I don't even want to get into the details of how this all happened, but it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my negligence that led to some very stupid person (who I hope will be summarily ARRESTED for being a complete IDIOT) stealing a card that allowed them access to my account. Really I hope karma comes back to get this mystery person who stole the card from my dad. I really do. I hope that the person who stole my money 2 DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY really feels it. I hope that on his birthday he gets swine flu. Or I hope that everyone forgets his birthday. Or I hope that he gets charged a lot of random overdraft fees.
(Aw man, I'm no good at being mean. I imagined the poor thief on his birthday, not getting any calls or cards or presents, and then I felt like I understood why he was reduced to thievery. I mean, no one really cares about him. I bet he didn't have a good homelife. Maybe I take it back about the whole forgetting his birthday thing. I just hope he feels as bad as I do right now.)
ANYWAY. There is some concern about whether or not I'll be able to pay my rent now that I have negative money in my account, so that's a nice birthday gift.
Also, I keep gaining weight (which is probably because I just keep eating) and I'm becoming obsessed with trying to count points only to blow it all on one delicious italian feast.
Also all my bills are coming in right now and I have NO MONEY.
And tomorrow is my birthday. Sigh. Well last year I had swine flu. I guess we're building up to something really great for 26. But 25 is destined to be overshadowed by money trouble. I hope that's not indicative of the rest of the year.
Hopefully I'll have a happy post tomorrow. Something about how great my birthday turned out, despite the inauspicious beginnings.
I'm going to go play some plants vs. zombies and then try to sleep. Happy birthday to me....
There's a zombie on your laaaaawwn...don't want the zombies on your laaaawn....
My checking account has been compromised and my current balance is negative $900. I don't even want to get into the details of how this all happened, but it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my negligence that led to some very stupid person (who I hope will be summarily ARRESTED for being a complete IDIOT) stealing a card that allowed them access to my account. Really I hope karma comes back to get this mystery person who stole the card from my dad. I really do. I hope that the person who stole my money 2 DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY really feels it. I hope that on his birthday he gets swine flu. Or I hope that everyone forgets his birthday. Or I hope that he gets charged a lot of random overdraft fees.
(Aw man, I'm no good at being mean. I imagined the poor thief on his birthday, not getting any calls or cards or presents, and then I felt like I understood why he was reduced to thievery. I mean, no one really cares about him. I bet he didn't have a good homelife. Maybe I take it back about the whole forgetting his birthday thing. I just hope he feels as bad as I do right now.)
ANYWAY. There is some concern about whether or not I'll be able to pay my rent now that I have negative money in my account, so that's a nice birthday gift.
Also, I keep gaining weight (which is probably because I just keep eating) and I'm becoming obsessed with trying to count points only to blow it all on one delicious italian feast.
Also all my bills are coming in right now and I have NO MONEY.
And tomorrow is my birthday. Sigh. Well last year I had swine flu. I guess we're building up to something really great for 26. But 25 is destined to be overshadowed by money trouble. I hope that's not indicative of the rest of the year.
Hopefully I'll have a happy post tomorrow. Something about how great my birthday turned out, despite the inauspicious beginnings.
I'm going to go play some plants vs. zombies and then try to sleep. Happy birthday to me....
There's a zombie on your laaaaawwn...don't want the zombies on your laaaawn....
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Foods I love.. a series
Ok guys. Today at Lucky, a DIFFERENT checker said "You watching what you eat?" after ringing me up. Either I look huge, or I am one healthy shopper.
Alas I did sort of break down in the frozen foods aisle, so not all my food is fresh fruits and veggies. But weight watchers success will be mine!!!!
It's my birthday next Tuesday, so people keep offering to take me out to eat. Which will be sort of detrimental to my weight watching I think. So I think I should just bask in that healthy shopping glow and promise to definitely eat better in October...
All right, all right, I'll also promise to TRY and eat well despite being taken out to eat.
I was thinking on Wednesdays, in honor of my weight in day, I would tell you about some foods I love. But then I didn't blog yesterday (nor did I lose weight at my weigh in...), so we will begin this new tradition on a Thursday. Today's post is brought to you by one of my favorite low fat wonderful products:
Naturally Yours Non Fat Sour Cream. IT'S MAGIC!!! HOW DO THEY DO IT?!!
Ok, so we've been eating this sour cream since I was a kid. It's that good. I was eating it before I was dieting. My boyfriend says it tastes a little like yogurt. And I admit if you eat some real sour cream, and then you eat this, you'll realize that there is a difference. But if you don't eat some real sour cream right before you eat this, you won't be able to tell the difference. So, um yes. I love this stuff. I ate some tonight. 2 weight watchers points for 1/4 cup. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Seriously, it's hard not to love it. Just look at that cute cow painted package. Aaaand that is all from me for tonight.
Alas I did sort of break down in the frozen foods aisle, so not all my food is fresh fruits and veggies. But weight watchers success will be mine!!!!
It's my birthday next Tuesday, so people keep offering to take me out to eat. Which will be sort of detrimental to my weight watching I think. So I think I should just bask in that healthy shopping glow and promise to definitely eat better in October...
All right, all right, I'll also promise to TRY and eat well despite being taken out to eat.
I was thinking on Wednesdays, in honor of my weight in day, I would tell you about some foods I love. But then I didn't blog yesterday (nor did I lose weight at my weigh in...), so we will begin this new tradition on a Thursday. Today's post is brought to you by one of my favorite low fat wonderful products:
Naturally Yours Non Fat Sour Cream. IT'S MAGIC!!! HOW DO THEY DO IT?!!
Ok, so we've been eating this sour cream since I was a kid. It's that good. I was eating it before I was dieting. My boyfriend says it tastes a little like yogurt. And I admit if you eat some real sour cream, and then you eat this, you'll realize that there is a difference. But if you don't eat some real sour cream right before you eat this, you won't be able to tell the difference. So, um yes. I love this stuff. I ate some tonight. 2 weight watchers points for 1/4 cup. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Seriously, it's hard not to love it. Just look at that cute cow painted package. Aaaand that is all from me for tonight.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Voices from another dimension
Well the bad news is, I'm going to be a chubby out of shape girl forever. But the good news is, I may be a chubby girl with a finished novel one day!
Yes, that day has finally come. Not the day that I finish my novel. But the day that I actually write a bit of it again. I'm up to 114 pages. And I honestly believe that about 4 pages are good usable writing. But that's what the editing is for.
Maybe this is just me, but I write much better as it gets later at night. As everyone in my house falls asleep, and I start to get sleepy, I slip into a different world. I sometimes feel like writing is a surreal alternate reality that we get to slip into now and again and if we are lucky, we come back from that place with a story. But really the process of writing is a little like letting yourself go crazy and then bringing yourself back from it. At least, that's my process. I let myself be a complete schizophrenic for a few hours, thinking other people's thoughts, trying on other people's minds for a while. And the more I let myself go there and become someone else, the better my writing is. When I come out of my trance-like state I realize that time has been going onwards, but I haven't really been in it. I've been somewhere else. It feels like only minutes have passed.
Perhaps the truth is that I am just insane. I find that to be an entirely plausible truth. But I like to think I get to spend a little time in another world. And the further I go into that world, the more I bring back with me.
In other news: I have to go get an MRI tomorrow just to make sure those dizzy spells I was talking about aren't some kind of tumor. Fun. If your idea of fun is terrible. Actually I've had a lot going on, and I'm sort of overwhelmed by it all. Which is why my blogging has really dropped off. But there's always tomorrow. Perhaps there will be more blogging then.
Yes, that day has finally come. Not the day that I finish my novel. But the day that I actually write a bit of it again. I'm up to 114 pages. And I honestly believe that about 4 pages are good usable writing. But that's what the editing is for.
Maybe this is just me, but I write much better as it gets later at night. As everyone in my house falls asleep, and I start to get sleepy, I slip into a different world. I sometimes feel like writing is a surreal alternate reality that we get to slip into now and again and if we are lucky, we come back from that place with a story. But really the process of writing is a little like letting yourself go crazy and then bringing yourself back from it. At least, that's my process. I let myself be a complete schizophrenic for a few hours, thinking other people's thoughts, trying on other people's minds for a while. And the more I let myself go there and become someone else, the better my writing is. When I come out of my trance-like state I realize that time has been going onwards, but I haven't really been in it. I've been somewhere else. It feels like only minutes have passed.
Perhaps the truth is that I am just insane. I find that to be an entirely plausible truth. But I like to think I get to spend a little time in another world. And the further I go into that world, the more I bring back with me.
In other news: I have to go get an MRI tomorrow just to make sure those dizzy spells I was talking about aren't some kind of tumor. Fun. If your idea of fun is terrible. Actually I've had a lot going on, and I'm sort of overwhelmed by it all. Which is why my blogging has really dropped off. But there's always tomorrow. Perhaps there will be more blogging then.
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