Long weekend

This weekend was long. Long as in, I had an extra day off. Long as in, I crammed too much in to too little time. Long as in I feel completely wiped out. Today we made it to bodega bay and we settled into a sand dune and listened to the waves. It was a misty, grey and cold, but it was a beach and I was happy to be there.

I can't help but feel though, that it might have been more relaxing to spend a day in bed instead of traipsing about the countryside and clambering over sand dunes. But then again, very little can beat the sound of crashing waves and the feel of sand under your feet. Ah, to be on a long beach vacation.

I will say this though: I am so lucky to have the friends and family that I do. To have friends that would giggle at the prospect of spending time getting lost with my family is just more than I could ever hope for. And to have a family that would consider driving over a lit firework (true story) is...well that's very special too. And to have a boyfriend who looks at a drive to Bodega Bay as an adventure instead of a stupid idea since there are beaches much closer, that's pretty awesome too.

Yes, I may be crazy, and awkward, but I have a great team to travel down the awkward road of life with. I mean, look at these people. These are the people you want to spend some time with.

That was a great birthday America. Way to go. And happy birthday again Andy. And thanks friends, for being crazy enough to hang out with me. Who knew independence day made me so thankful?

Some thoughts on Independence

Happy Independence Day everyone! Ever since I fell in love with the musical 1776, today has been an extra special day for me. Filled with singing and laughter and lots of food.

It also happens to be my Dad's birthday. So its kind of a big deal around here.

Today, I'm gearing myself up for a triathlon of shopping, cooking and eating, and I'm trying to do it the weight watchers way. Look, you make me plan a party, I'm going to make it the way I want it. I'll take suggestions, and try to think of others, but I'm making sure I'm happy.

Ok to be fair, part of that whole, well fine, I'm doing it my way attitude comes from the fact that although everyone else in the family has lots of free time or is on summer vacation, I am the one planning this party. I am the only one who had to work all this week, but in my spare time I was putting together a birthday/independence day celebration/gambling party of epic proportions. Oh and also, I had to work at my other Dad's benefit gala block party thing all day yesterday for the theatre company that I used to work for. Which was incredibly awkward. Nothing like coming back to a group of people who make it totally clear you no longer belong. And forget to feed you dinner. It sort of goes against the whole independence thing to be told what to do all day and have to swallow your complaints. I was ready to rebel!

Anyway, my point is, this weekend is/was/will be like all sorts of crazy and yet, I have my eyes on the prize. And that prize is weight watchers stuffed mushrooms. They are great, I promise. I'll post the recipe some time, because weight watchers or not, they are some of the best stuffed mushrooms I've ever had. You can try them and disagree if you want. But I'll never stop loving them.

And on Monday, I finally get to do something for me. I'm going up to Bodega Bay and resting in a sand dune. For hours. With my favorite sandwhich from my favorite sandwhich shop. And the sound of the ocean just over my shoulder. Yes, that is the real prize. 24 hours of doing exactly what I want to do, with the people I want to be with.


Finally, freedom will be mine! Enjoy your own independence today. I hope you too can find a way to break free.

Napa Valley Madness

I'm a terrible blogger. I'm even pretty bad at wii it turns out. Commitment is not my strongest suit. Well unless we're talking about commitment to other people...I'm very committed to people...even if I forget to call most of my friends. But I mean if you asked Brady he would say I am committed. Perhaps too committed really. Or should be committed...as in to an insane asylum. But my point is that I haven't really stuck to any of my grand plans, although I am feebly trying to stick to weight watchers with a sort of depressing determination made all the more sad by my constant failures.

But that's not what I'm here to write about today folks. Nope. No more complaining about my lack of follow through.

Brady and I are going on a Napa Valley spa weekend. And in trying to select a place to stay and a place to spa I learned some important things. Should you ever try to plan a spa retreat to napa valley, you would do well to know these things too:

1) You can't stay in Napa for just one Saturday night. Apparently, it's just not done. You may want to stay just Saturday night, but you will inevitably be disappointed by the "Minimum 2-night stay" notices posted on every website. Seriously, it's bad news when even the Best Western has a 2 night minimum.

2) If you find a place that will allow you to stay for one night, they will charge you much more than you ever wanted to spend to stay at something that looks like a 1950's motel. Even if you opt for the places that yelp claims are basically disgusting, you'll be paying $150 a night. And what's more, you'll be thinking, wow that's cheap.

3) Just set aside about $400 for this excursion. It's gonna be expensive. Your boyfriend...er, whoever you are going with... better like his birthday getaway. Like, a lot.

4) If mudbaths are your thing, or if they are your entire reason for picking Calistoga as a vacation destination, you should know that most places require you to get naked in front of strangers. Apparently, you have to do the mudbath with someone that you don't know. I have this horrifying image of being naked with a stranger, trying to climb into a tall tub filled with hot mud and then trying to get out again, covered in mud and slipping around as I am wont to do. I think the funniest image is trying to wash the mud off (and out of some of my more sensitive areas) while another naked lady does the same. Anyway, when I told Brady, he was horrified and told me to find a place where we could be together. I did. Which brings me to...

5) If you find a couples mudbath place....it's going to be sort of tacky. I wouldn't think that would be the case in such a swanky town, but, well, I've looked at them all. I've read every yelp review. It's just sort of tacky to take mud baths with your boyfriend. I'm learning to deal.

6) By the time you finish planning your insane vacation you will need a spa vacation. Which is lucky, since hopefully, you were successful in your planning.

So Brady and I are staying here:


And we will be doing this:


Yep. See what I mean about cheesy?

Anyway, the trip is still a week away, so I'll have to let you know how it goes. It's an adventure.

Wii-tastic!

It's amazing how good I feel after one week of really trying. I have been following my food plan and working out on my wii fit. And I'm losing weight. And I don't feel like I'm a failure!

Who knew that weird japanese games would change my life?

I actually pulled an arm muscle playing that weird chicken game, so I'm steering clear for a while. Wii can be dangerous apparently. I'm sticking to the hula hooping game.

The one thing I'm not feeling proud of is my writing. I made a commitment when I started this blog to write everyday. I wanted to write in this blog, write my stories, write write write. And I also wanted to lose weight. Maybe I just can't tackle that many goals at once. Maybe I needed to get the eating and exercise thing under control first. Or maybe, my exercise and dieting foibles are more fun to write about.

I've been seriously considering grad school lately because I want so badly to be writing more and have it be my life. And I know that only I can make it my life, but I can't deny that all the other things (money, jobs, travel, family) get in the way. And in graduate school, no matter how hard it was, I'd be there to write. All the time. I'd live it.

Ok, I won't lie, as good as that sounds, it also terrifies me. What if, in that environment, I was finally found out. What if everyone realized that I'm a theatre major posing as an english geek? What if everyone realized that I wasn't really much of a writer? What if I didn't even get in anywhere?

Oh self doubt, what a terrible web you weave. Keeping me in my place. Only I'm not loving this place I'm currently in. What's wrong with pushing the boundaries a little?

On that pensive note, I think I might write a little on this lovely Saturday. Maybe writing will help me get my head on straight. And then tomorrow I can tell more funny stories about me falling off the wii balance board (which may or may not have happened.)

One thing leads to another

My family acquired a wii fit this past weekend and things are really looking up.  Isn't it funny how one good thing leads to other good things?  This silly little video game burns 100 calories an hour doing piddly little low intensity workout games.  That's really not that many calories.  And yet, I feel unreasonably proud.  Today was day two of my new wii fit regime.  My little wii board guide congratulated me on sticking with it two days in a row.  And I felt like I was a fitness guru!  I felt so skinny!!
And because I feel so active and fit, it makes me want to track my food and eat like the fitness guru that I am.  Suddenly I'm planning meals and eating carefully and day dreaming about how I can't wait to beat my step aerobic score when I get home from work. 

So instead of watching an hour of house hunters international, I'm up and moving.  Which is this tiny tiny change.  But it might be the tiny change that leads to a skinny new me.

Could this be the start of me actually achieving some goals and losing some weight?  Will this be the obsession that lasts?  Could we finally see some progress?  Am I finally choosing my own adventure?  Turn to page 83 to find out! (aka, check back in a month or so and we'll see.  I've had promising weight loss epiphanies before, and look how they turned out).

On a sadder note, when I weighed in on my wii fit, my little mii character grew a belly because I am overweight.  So now my mom's wii is skinny and fit and mine is chubby, like me.  And my animated trainer is obsessed with posture.  Is that what they worry about in Japan?  Posture?  No one is overweight there, so it's about focusing on standing up straight?  Oh Japan... at least the wii fit games aren't as bizzare as cooking mama....

The deviiiil is heeeeeere!  She's here and she's angry that you can't saute!!



 

You may have noticed that the look of this blog has changed a bit. I felt it was time. I wanted something new. I haven't found it yet.

I'm going to keep tweaking. For a blog titled "Life is Awkward" it's looking a little...zen. Spa like. It needs to look more like me. I'm working on it. I'll get there eventually. I just couldn't stare at the polka dots anymore. They were coming to get me I tell you!

Tonight my family and I played a board game (called Wits and Wagers) that involves guessing the answer to a bunch of obscure questions. I won't get into the details, but to make the game work, all the answers to all the questions are numbers of some kind. It turns out that when it comes to numbers, I don't have a clue.

One question asked what the record for most snowfall in one day was, in inches. I said 12 inches. The answer was 152*. Another question asked how far the longest recorded long jump was, in feet and inches. I said 6 feet. The answer was 48 feet*. My family looked at me sadly and said, it's ok, we still love you. My mom said, "I think even I can jump 6 feet." Thanks mom, thanks for not ridiculing me. And how was I supposed to know that we changed the voting age to 18 after the Vietnam war? I stand by my answer of 1902...I mean I would stand by it if I didn't now know that it was wrong.

But I was so right about Braille being invented in the early 1800's and if Brady had listened to me**, we would have won the whole game. HAHA! I was right about something! Thank you 4th grade report on the deaf and blind. (Speaking of which, that was an awesome report. I got to visit guide dog puppies at the guide dog training facility, learn the braille alphabet and learn sign language. I made big posters of the braille and sign language alphabet to use as visual aids and showed pictures of the puppies for dramatic effect. Was I an overachiever...yes. But did that report rock and help me years later in family game night? Yes, yes it did.)

Oh family game night...why must you tear families apart? I mean, we just don't play RISK at all anymore. It broke my family about 6 years ago, and we've never really healed. (For the record though, if we had defended Australia like I said, we wouldn't have been killed so viciously. Whoever said you can't win playing defense was not talking about the game of RISK.)

This has been a completely ridiculous post. Thank you for listening. I apologize for the lack of finesse and writing skill in this particular entry. I'll strive for better in the future.

*This is a completely rough estimate and should not be taken as fact.

** Brady, and everyone else in my family, thought that Braille was invented in the 1940's for some reason. This makes no sense to me, but apparently they all thought that Hellen Keller invented it. This is not so.

Choose your own adventure

I went to San Diego this past long weekend and managed to do nothing but eat and drink for three days straight. It was, as you might imagine, my dream vacation and I wish that there were more 3 day weekends each year. Oh if only every weekend were three days. But I digress.

I used to love those choose your own adventure books. I hear they don't really make them anymore and I'm sad to hear it, although I can see why they might stop making them. I will sort of forever be haunted by the Apollo 13 choose your own adventure book in which I died in space more than once.

Did anyone really read those books the way they were supposed to be read? I never committed to a page choice until I had read ahead to make sure that page 14 was not the one where the space ship crashed and I died. I always held my finger on page 37, just in case I needed to jump back and make a different choice. I always felt it wasn't a real choice until you let go of the previous page. Sometimes I had my fingers holding several pages open at once so that I could try all the possible options.

Actually, come to think of it, those books made me really nervous. It brought a whole new possibility of failure to the reading experience. Instead of being guided by an author to a logical conclusion, danger lurked around every page turn. And choices that seemed like the right one often led to a hole in the space ship that killed you instantly (can you tell I was really hung up on the Apollo 13 book?)


I was going to say that the way I read those books is a great metaphor for how I live my life. But in fact, life IS a choose your own adventure novel. It's not even a metaphor. We DO choose our own adventures. And if you keep your finger on the earlier page you can't really move on to the next choice. Deep huh?

Anyway, I've been thinking about that a lot lately. The way we need to choose our own paths. I've been feeling like I'm at one of those turn the page moments and I'm not sure which page to turn to. The old anxiety is back...which choice leads to a happy ending and which one leads to certain death??!!

You are feeling fat and unmotivated. Your commute is stressful. Your weight watchers membership comes with great recipes and food plan ideas, but you've been watching your favorite TV show, and the lead female makes you want to work out and get toned. However, you aren't sure you can make time to exercise on top of your busy schedule. You also feel like perhaps graduate school would be a good idea before you get too old. Plus then you would have more time to work out. And you keep looking at apartments online, thinking that if you live closer to work, you will feel better about life in general.

If you choose to start tracking your food and eating extremely well despite temptations, turn to page 13.

If you choose to start exercising with your library of exercise videos each morning, turn to page 42.

If you choose to reinstate your gym membership and start going to the gym each night turn to page 12.

If you decide to forget about weight loss and apply to graduate creative writing programs, turn to page 45.

If you decide to find an apartment first, turn to page 34.

What to do? Perhaps no choice at all....