Awkward sunburns and macaroni salad part 2

Ok, so the good news is, my mom and I totally fixed the macaroni salad and made it delicious. All we needed was a whole jar of pickle relish. I didn't even think I liked pickle relish!

The bad news...well remember how I said it might be me standing by the salad, shoveling it in all afternoon? That's kind of what happened. Only I was standing by the potato chips and french onion dip. Which is the best thing EVER. After shoveling that into my mouth for something like an hour, I frankly just didn't have room to shovel that much macaroni salad. Which you know, didn't stop me from eating a lot anyway.

But see, I'm not going to give myself a hard time about that. Because this is the new Alex. The Alex who is not mad at herself for eating. Today I played bocce ball (well, I use the word played very loosely since I'm pretty sure we butchered the rules) with my family. I swung on a swing-set and went so high, my boyfriend thought I was going to go over the top. I played dice games with my grandfather. I got badly sunburned on my arms, in a really awkward looking pattern (er and by that I mean it's blotchy and blobby and on my forearm. I do not mean that it looks like something dirty, which is kind of how that sounded). I had a lot of fun. And since my new goal in life is to do one thing that really makes me happy every day, I consider this to be a successful day. Awkward sun burns aside.

Now if only I felt at all ready to go back to work... Sigh long weekends always make it so much harder to go back to the office.

Awkward happenings and macaroni salad

Well. Hello. On the off chance that anyone is still out there. I know. It's been months. I let you down. There has been a serious lack of posting.

I just couldn't post about how I was not losing weight, eating right or accomplishing any of my life goals (which is what has been happening the past 4 months or so). Also I had pneumonia for like 2 months, which left me surprisingly weak. But things are looking up! I wrote for several hours this weekend. And I'm cutting myself some slack on that whole weight loss thing. I mean didn't some doctor once say that it's healthier to be slightly overweight in the long run? (NOTE: This is completely not true. I have made up that fact. But shh...)

Anyway, from now on the blog will be about other things. Like good things I accomplish each day. Or awkward things I accomplish each day. Or both.

Today, for example I met with a potential roommate. Innocuous enough, right? But since this is me we are talking about it was sort of awkward. Awkward fact #1: My current roommate has not officially stated that he will be leaving in Sept. He said he was leaving, and then he said he wasn't. And then he said he might be. And then I kind of told him that he needs to be leaving, since I am interviewing people to live in his room. I tried to explain this situation to the potential roommate. Unsurprisingly she was slightly concerned about the whole, he may not be leaving thing and wanted to clear that up straightaway. Which sort of got us off to an awkward start. Awkward fact #2: I had never met this potential roommate before. She was not a friend of a friend, or someone I met in a bar. I fact, she was someone my dad met in a bar. Totally normal. Several weeks ago, my dad was visiting the San Francisco. He told me he was hanging out with friends, maybe hitting up some bars. At 11:30 pm on a Thursday, I received a text from my dad saying, "I have found you a roommate. She's great, she reminds me of you. She'll be contacting you." This past week, she did. So we agreed to meet up because apparently, she had a great time at dinner with my dad and he was fun. Apparently, my dad was hanging out with her uncle and she came too.

So yeah. I met up with this girl today. She was nice. I think we got along well. She may be moving in with me. Totally typical day in the life.

Also my mom and I made bland macaroni salad for our Memorial Day BBQ tomorrow. I wish I could say it is bland because it's low fat, but actually, it's really fattening. And bland. This is why I date a chef. I'm hoping he can secretly save the salad so I can look like a genius in the kitchen. Not that anyone who knows me would believe that I was a genius in the kitchen.

So anyway, I'll post again soon. Perhaps as soon as tomorrow. Once I'm done standing by the food stuffing my face with mediocre macaroni salad (which I will not be able to stop eating despite the fact that it's not so tasty).

2011 and all is well

Hello... is anyone still there? I realize that I have basically stopped posting. For months and months. Which would lead any sane person to believe I abandoned this little blog. But I didn't. I just got tired of finding new ways to say, "well, failed again at going to the gym." There is a point where that's no longer a funny weight loss foible. There is a point where that becomes depressing.

Anyway, I've been thinking that this blog needs some new perspective...new goals...goals that don't involve me failing over and over. Although I really am going to be healthy in 2011...I really am! (I say yet again for the 800th time. Even I feel like saying I'll believe that when I see it). Ugh I'm like Bridget Jones only with less swearing, smoking, and unattainable men.

The point though, is that I am going to try and post more frequently. I am going to try and also post more successes. And I may find myself posting about things that do not involve weight loss, exercise, writing or my BART commute.

So happy new year to you all! May 2011 be a year of fulfilled promises for all of us!

And now I'm off to bed. I'm fighting off a cold and I feel like someone ran over my head. Neat.

Back to School

Well, I am almost healthy again. I am well on my way to health and happiness, although staying up late writing blog entries is probably not helpful in the long run.

Last week was just such a wash for me. I did nothing except have weird feverish dreams and watch like 30 netflix movies. But now that my illness has passed I feel sort of...revived? Like someone hit the reset button on my life I guess. It's autumn and the air is crisp and there is a fun back to school vibe in the air. The things that were stressing me out last week and last month are in the past now. I have fun plans for the weekend. Things look...hopeful.

I spent an hour cleaning my house tonight and it made me so happy. I love cleaning sometimes. I know...I'm a crazy person. But sometimes I just have to go scrub a bathtub.

Hopefully this feeling is a permanent change and not just some hormonal shift that will swing back around in a few days leaving me angry and confused.

That's all for now. I need some sleep.

I am a Bear?

I am just so sick. So so sick. Terrible, fever and bad dreams kind of sick. Sick in a way that makes me want to curl up and die.

Last night I had a dream that I was a bear. I woke up to go to the bathroom and realized that I was not just a bear, but a clan of bears. Each of my arms was a bear. And I knew somwhere in my mind that I was a person but I couldn't think of my name. And that was without any cold medicine at all.

Basically I'm cracking up.

If I ever get well, I will post again. Happy thoughts. About disneyland and good food.

I hope I don't hallucinate again tonight...

Fat, tired and possibly sick

Ugh, I am fat, possibly coming down with a cold and exhausted.

I also just spent the last 30 min entering online contests. And no, I won't tell you which ones, because I don't want you to enter too. That would lessen my chances of winning, and frankly I could use a windfall right now. Seriously. I never win anything anyway. Right now I'm feeling all hopeful and happy but nothing will come of it. I'll still be broke and fat and tired.

Speaking of being fat though, I am going to really buckle down on the weight watchers and the exercise starting tomorrow. (Yeah, I know. You've heard that before.) Really though. If I can't buckle down this week and really sustain this weight loss thing, it was just prove that I have no follow through and no self control.

Honestly, I'm feeling a little down right now. If you couldn't tell from that uplifting opening line. I just need to learn from my mistakes and see my small successes and move forward into a bright and happy future.

Ha. Yeah I'm just going to sleep. I'll be in Disneyland in 3 days and I bet things will feel lots better there. Goodnight for now.

Routine...what's that?

I have successfully made it to the gym! Er, I mean, I went to the gym. It was...not as bad as I expected. But unfortunately walking into the gym did not magically make me thin/beautiful/fit/stress free/happy. Nor did it change the fact that I ate an ice cream sand which today and I probably shouldn't have.

Informal poll: Is it ok to go to the gym, feel really good and then come home and eat macaroni and cheese and hot dogs for dinner? Does it change things if the mac and cheese was Annie's instant mac and cheese (made with real cheese) and the hot dogs were 98% fat free turkey dogs? If I had a pudding cup for dessert, does that negate any good I may have done today?

If only life sorted itself out neatly for us. I feel like in elementary school it did. Actually even in middle school and high school my days were neatly ordered, laid out in front of me. Yeah waking up was bad. But I always knew what came next. Someone made my food for me (which is probably why I was skinny when I was little). They made time in the day for physical activity. The day always went in an orderly fashion. A nice routine.

No one tells you that when you get out of school you have to make your own routine. And that you will probably lack self discipline and find yourself in front of the TV eating mac and cheese and instead of it being great like you always dreamed, you will be stressing about how fat you are and your boyfriend will change the channel to watch the baseball game.

Anyway, on the plus side, my performance review went really well today and I am apparently a fabulous employee!! I got extra points for being personable and creative. Excellent!

Ugh, I'm going to be tired tomorrow. Stayed up too late watching British TV dramas and now will be late to work again. At least it's Friday!