Voices from another dimension

Well the bad news is, I'm going to be a chubby out of shape girl forever. But the good news is, I may be a chubby girl with a finished novel one day!

Yes, that day has finally come. Not the day that I finish my novel. But the day that I actually write a bit of it again. I'm up to 114 pages. And I honestly believe that about 4 pages are good usable writing. But that's what the editing is for.

Maybe this is just me, but I write much better as it gets later at night. As everyone in my house falls asleep, and I start to get sleepy, I slip into a different world. I sometimes feel like writing is a surreal alternate reality that we get to slip into now and again and if we are lucky, we come back from that place with a story. But really the process of writing is a little like letting yourself go crazy and then bringing yourself back from it. At least, that's my process. I let myself be a complete schizophrenic for a few hours, thinking other people's thoughts, trying on other people's minds for a while. And the more I let myself go there and become someone else, the better my writing is. When I come out of my trance-like state I realize that time has been going onwards, but I haven't really been in it. I've been somewhere else. It feels like only minutes have passed.

Perhaps the truth is that I am just insane. I find that to be an entirely plausible truth. But I like to think I get to spend a little time in another world. And the further I go into that world, the more I bring back with me.

In other news: I have to go get an MRI tomorrow just to make sure those dizzy spells I was talking about aren't some kind of tumor. Fun. If your idea of fun is terrible. Actually I've had a lot going on, and I'm sort of overwhelmed by it all. Which is why my blogging has really dropped off. But there's always tomorrow. Perhaps there will be more blogging then.

Smiles and creepers

Do you ever stop and think about how a little human contact can change your day?  I was walking to work yesterday and some guy stopped me to ask for directions to the Conservatory of Music.  And I felt really nice being able to help someone (not to mention super cool for actually knowing my way around San Francisco well enough to tell him.  It's like I'm a local!)  He smiled and said thank you.  He was clean and soft spoken and I imagine he was some type of musician.  And I thought, yes, that's who I am.  I am Alex, the kind of person who helps young artists. 

On the same subject though, a little human contact can also really ruin your day.  Like the crazy homeless guy who started swearing at me about Jesus Christ because I smiled at him.  That was upsetting.  Or the creeper on BART the other day who was resting his arm on my hip.  Imagine waking up from a nap to find some older gentleman resting his arm on your person.  I tried to scoot away but he kept his arm firmly pressed against me.  That was one of those human interactions that really made me wonder about people. 

My point was actually going to be that you should smile and reach out to your fellow man, but now that I've remembered those last two incidents, I think maybe I should just say to be careful out there.  I mean it was nice that the musician turned out to not be crazy, but he could have asked me for money instead of directions and then it would have been just another morning in San Francisco. 

But no, really, I believe in kindness.  But not in creepy old guys.  I just don't believe in them.  Have a good night folks. 

Fun with fillers

I'm back from the spas of Calistoga and while I don't entirely feel like a whole new person, it was a fantastic trip.  We swam, we bathed in mud, we sampled local beer, we slept in a hotel that was retro chic...all in all I have no complaints.  Well ok, one complaint.  Why can't I be on vacation all the time.  One weekend away was too short!

I will post some pictures soon.  Sorry, there are no pictures of Brady and me in the mud like that cheesy couple in my earlier post.  Brady wouldn't let me ask the spa attendant to take a photo.  He said that was tacky.  Brady, the guy who wanted the couples mud bath, thought that a photo somehow made it cheesy....as if it could really get any cheesier...but anyway.

Anyway, this is sort of just a filler post to say, soon there will be pictures and soon there will be stories, but for now there will be sleeping.

Also, in case this is breaking or unexpected news to anyone, I ate badly.  Tomorrow's weigh in will be disappointing.  (I moved my weigh in to Wednesday...in case anyone was confused by that...)

Sick and dizzy

Tomorrow at 12:30 I will be having my spa mud adventure. And I have a cold...

This is terrible news. I am very bummed about having a cold. I hate colds. I am determined to still enjoy my spa getaway, despite the cold. I am hoping that the mineral waters will heal me and I will feel like a new woman. Right now I'm drinking so much water/tea/liquid that I am peeing every five minutes, but I can feel the virus getting flooded out. (Is that an overshare? Can I talk about peeing?)

Anyway, I'm super out of it at present because I of the cold and the 60 mg Pseuophedrine (sp?) that the doctor gave me to help with my dizzy spells. Did I mention that I've been having dizzy spells the last few weeks? My doctor is trying to figure out what's up with that, and she thought maybe it was congestion? Anyway, I'm dizzy and sick and medicated. Wohooo!

What was I even saying? I'm not sure. I've lost my train of thought. Tomorrow at this time I hope to be drinking fancy drinks in downtown Calistoga. When I get back, I will tell all. For now, I think maybe a healing nap is in order.

How you know you need a vacation and other thoughts

I am craving an adventure type/beach type/big time vacation. I want to get on a plane and spend weeks on a beach or a mountain. As you know, I have instead planned a trip during which I will play in the mud. (In fact according to blogger's stat counter, that was my most viewed blog post of all time...must have been those cheesy faces in the picture) But that desire to travel cannot be quelled. Today the universe told me that I must go forth and travel.

Each day I take the San Francisco Airport bound BART train. Each morning as we get closer to San Francisco, I see happy people climb on board with their suitcases nicely packed, excitement on their faces. This daily occurrence is beginning to get unbearable. Watching those happy couples double check their name tags and their tickets, anxiously awaiting that moment when the vacation really begins. And then there's me in the corner.

I don't need to tell you that there is never a morning where I glow with pre-vacation glow, or any kind of glow for that matter. Unless it's the glow of sweat because the train air conditioning is acting up and I am still wearing my coat. In fact, most mornings I spend a lot of time getting dressed and ready, ironing my clothes, doing my hair only to fall asleep on the BART train. I usually wake up just before my stop to find that my hair is sticking up at odd angles, my clothes are a rumpled mess and I've been sleeping like a bag lady under my old coat with the ripped lining. Those happy vacationers are mocking me, and oh how I long to be one of them.

Today after I got off the train, I heard the sound of the Andes mountains...a pan pipe and guitar making beautiful music together, reminding me of Chocolat and mystical journeys into the mist. Who were those magical musicians? I have never seen them in the BART station before, never heard their mystical sounds. They were wonderful. Not just some hacks begging for change; these men were talented. I realized then that the universe was telling me to go, go to the mountains. The suitcases were just act one of a great universal message. Go to Maccu Piccu. Who's with me???!!!

Long weekend

This weekend was long. Long as in, I had an extra day off. Long as in, I crammed too much in to too little time. Long as in I feel completely wiped out. Today we made it to bodega bay and we settled into a sand dune and listened to the waves. It was a misty, grey and cold, but it was a beach and I was happy to be there.

I can't help but feel though, that it might have been more relaxing to spend a day in bed instead of traipsing about the countryside and clambering over sand dunes. But then again, very little can beat the sound of crashing waves and the feel of sand under your feet. Ah, to be on a long beach vacation.

I will say this though: I am so lucky to have the friends and family that I do. To have friends that would giggle at the prospect of spending time getting lost with my family is just more than I could ever hope for. And to have a family that would consider driving over a lit firework (true story) is...well that's very special too. And to have a boyfriend who looks at a drive to Bodega Bay as an adventure instead of a stupid idea since there are beaches much closer, that's pretty awesome too.

Yes, I may be crazy, and awkward, but I have a great team to travel down the awkward road of life with. I mean, look at these people. These are the people you want to spend some time with.

That was a great birthday America. Way to go. And happy birthday again Andy. And thanks friends, for being crazy enough to hang out with me. Who knew independence day made me so thankful?

Some thoughts on Independence

Happy Independence Day everyone! Ever since I fell in love with the musical 1776, today has been an extra special day for me. Filled with singing and laughter and lots of food.

It also happens to be my Dad's birthday. So its kind of a big deal around here.

Today, I'm gearing myself up for a triathlon of shopping, cooking and eating, and I'm trying to do it the weight watchers way. Look, you make me plan a party, I'm going to make it the way I want it. I'll take suggestions, and try to think of others, but I'm making sure I'm happy.

Ok to be fair, part of that whole, well fine, I'm doing it my way attitude comes from the fact that although everyone else in the family has lots of free time or is on summer vacation, I am the one planning this party. I am the only one who had to work all this week, but in my spare time I was putting together a birthday/independence day celebration/gambling party of epic proportions. Oh and also, I had to work at my other Dad's benefit gala block party thing all day yesterday for the theatre company that I used to work for. Which was incredibly awkward. Nothing like coming back to a group of people who make it totally clear you no longer belong. And forget to feed you dinner. It sort of goes against the whole independence thing to be told what to do all day and have to swallow your complaints. I was ready to rebel!

Anyway, my point is, this weekend is/was/will be like all sorts of crazy and yet, I have my eyes on the prize. And that prize is weight watchers stuffed mushrooms. They are great, I promise. I'll post the recipe some time, because weight watchers or not, they are some of the best stuffed mushrooms I've ever had. You can try them and disagree if you want. But I'll never stop loving them.

And on Monday, I finally get to do something for me. I'm going up to Bodega Bay and resting in a sand dune. For hours. With my favorite sandwhich from my favorite sandwhich shop. And the sound of the ocean just over my shoulder. Yes, that is the real prize. 24 hours of doing exactly what I want to do, with the people I want to be with.


Finally, freedom will be mine! Enjoy your own independence today. I hope you too can find a way to break free.

Napa Valley Madness

I'm a terrible blogger. I'm even pretty bad at wii it turns out. Commitment is not my strongest suit. Well unless we're talking about commitment to other people...I'm very committed to people...even if I forget to call most of my friends. But I mean if you asked Brady he would say I am committed. Perhaps too committed really. Or should be committed...as in to an insane asylum. But my point is that I haven't really stuck to any of my grand plans, although I am feebly trying to stick to weight watchers with a sort of depressing determination made all the more sad by my constant failures.

But that's not what I'm here to write about today folks. Nope. No more complaining about my lack of follow through.

Brady and I are going on a Napa Valley spa weekend. And in trying to select a place to stay and a place to spa I learned some important things. Should you ever try to plan a spa retreat to napa valley, you would do well to know these things too:

1) You can't stay in Napa for just one Saturday night. Apparently, it's just not done. You may want to stay just Saturday night, but you will inevitably be disappointed by the "Minimum 2-night stay" notices posted on every website. Seriously, it's bad news when even the Best Western has a 2 night minimum.

2) If you find a place that will allow you to stay for one night, they will charge you much more than you ever wanted to spend to stay at something that looks like a 1950's motel. Even if you opt for the places that yelp claims are basically disgusting, you'll be paying $150 a night. And what's more, you'll be thinking, wow that's cheap.

3) Just set aside about $400 for this excursion. It's gonna be expensive. Your boyfriend...er, whoever you are going with... better like his birthday getaway. Like, a lot.

4) If mudbaths are your thing, or if they are your entire reason for picking Calistoga as a vacation destination, you should know that most places require you to get naked in front of strangers. Apparently, you have to do the mudbath with someone that you don't know. I have this horrifying image of being naked with a stranger, trying to climb into a tall tub filled with hot mud and then trying to get out again, covered in mud and slipping around as I am wont to do. I think the funniest image is trying to wash the mud off (and out of some of my more sensitive areas) while another naked lady does the same. Anyway, when I told Brady, he was horrified and told me to find a place where we could be together. I did. Which brings me to...

5) If you find a couples mudbath place....it's going to be sort of tacky. I wouldn't think that would be the case in such a swanky town, but, well, I've looked at them all. I've read every yelp review. It's just sort of tacky to take mud baths with your boyfriend. I'm learning to deal.

6) By the time you finish planning your insane vacation you will need a spa vacation. Which is lucky, since hopefully, you were successful in your planning.

So Brady and I are staying here:


And we will be doing this:


Yep. See what I mean about cheesy?

Anyway, the trip is still a week away, so I'll have to let you know how it goes. It's an adventure.